Dvar Torah Matos-Masei 5785 - Being Right is Not Always Right

In this week’s Torah portion, the tribes of Reuven and Gad request to settle on the eastern side of the Jordan River, rather than entering the Land of Israel with the rest of the nation. Moshe is initially disturbed by their request, challenging them:

“Shall your brothers go out to war while you settle here?” (Bamidbar 32:6)

Moshe feared that their withdrawal from the national mission would discourage the rest of the people—just as the Sin of the Spies had decades earlier. But the tribes propose a compromise: they will first help conquer the land west of the Jordan alongside their brethren, and only afterward return to settle the land of Gilead in the east (see Bamidbar 32:17–19).

Still, there was a key point of contention. According to the Seforno, the tribes of Reuven and Gad insisted on receiving their inheritance before crossing the Jordan, while Moshe initially intended for this transfer to occur only after the conquest.

In the end, the Torah records:

“So Moshe gave to them—to the children of Gad, the children of Reuven, and half the tribe of Menashe—the kingdom of Sihon and the kingdom of Og...” (Bamidbar 32:33)

Seforno explains that Moshe accepted their position and allowed them to settle immediately—not because he agreed, but in order to avoid entering into a dispute with them -  כדי שלא להכנס למחלוקת.

This is surprising. The stakes were high. Moshe feared that their choice would weaken the national unity and replicate past failures. Isn’t it appropriate for the leader to enforce what he thinks is correct for the good of all the people, even if some will disagree? Why should he back down?

Apparently, Moshe valued something even more significant: Maintaining unity among the people was more important than insisting on what he believed was the best course of action. Even a righteous leader, even Moshe Rabbeinu—the greatest prophet—understood that the cost of conflict can sometimes outweigh the benefit of being right.

This principle is echoed in the Talmud:

“Rabbi Yehoshua ben Korcha says: Compromise is a mitzvah, as it is written, ‘Judge truth and judgment of peace in your gates’ (Zechariah 8:16). If there is judgment, there is no peace; and if there is peace, there is no judgment. What kind of judgment brings peace? This is compromise.” (Sanhedrin 6b)

The Torah and our sages teach that standing for truth is essential—but so is knowing when to step back for the sake of peace. In our own lives—whether in family disagreements, community matters, or workplace conflicts—we may be absolutely convinced we are right. And perhaps we are. But like Moshe, we must ask: is being right more important than having a good relationship? The Torah tells us that it is a mitzvah when we seek to find a compromise that produces peace and harmony – that is the ultimate concept of being right.