Parshas Chukas 5785 - The Greatness of Forgiveness

In this week’s parsha the Jewish people once again complain against Hashem and against Moshe: “Why did you bring us up from Egypt to die in this Wilderness?” (Bamidbar 21:5). In response, Hashem sends fiery serpents that bit the people and many perished.

Realizing their mistake, the people come to Moshe and say:

“’We have sinned, for we have spoken against Hashem and against you. Pray to Hashem that He remove from us the serpent.’ Moshe prayed for the people.” (Bamidbar 21:7)

Rashi, citing the Midrash Tanchuma, says that we can learn a powerful lesson from this incident: When someone seeks forgiveness, we must not be cruel by withholding it. The people had bitterly complained and insulted Moshe. Yet, when they admitted their sin and asked Moshe to pray for them, Moshe forgave them and prayed on their behalf.

The words of Rashi are puzzling. It should not be surprising that Moshe forgave the people. The Torah describes Moshe as more humble “than any person on the face of the earth.” (Bamidbar 12:3). Of course, Moshe forgave them. Could Moshe have acted in a cruel manner? But that very assumption raises a question: If Moshe’s unparalleled humility made forgiveness easy for him, how can we relate to what Moshe did? Why does Rashi say that ordinary people can learn from his example?

We must therefore say that even Moshe, despite his humble nature, must have felt hurt by the people’s words. Their complaint was an attack on Moshe’s leadership and trust in Hashem. Yet, when they came with sincere remorse, Moshe overcame his personal pain and prayed for their wellbeing. We see that forgiveness doesn’t come naturally, even for the righteous. It is a struggle to overcome resentment and to triumph over one’s natural feelings.

Often, when someone apologizes to us, we might say “I forgive you”, but deep down bitterness lingers. It is a struggle to truly forgive. That’s why the Torah highlights Moshe’s reaction. Moshe’s exemplary actions are a model for everyone because we all struggle with such feelings. But we also have the capability to overcome our natural feelings and totally eradicate any feelings of resentment to others, even though they may have deeply hurt us.

Rabbenu Bachye tells us that others modeled this as well. Even though Avimelech forcibly took Sarah away from Avraham, Avraham still prayed for his healing. (Beraishis 20:17). Even though Iyov (Job) was criticized by his friends in his darkest hour, he too later prayed on their behalf (Job 42:10). People are capable of tremendous spiritual greatness.

We should attempt to work on ourselves to truly forgive others when they express true remorse for hurting us. When we choose to forgive, especially when forgiveness is hard, we not only restore relationships but also align ourselves with Hashem, who is  רחום וחנון (compassionate and gracious).

Let us strive to open our hearts to those who sincerely seek our forgiveness. In doing so, we bring more peace to our families and communities, and more blessing into our lives. As the verse concludes:

“Hashem restored Iyov’s fortunes when he prayed for his friends, and He gave him twice what he had before.” (Job 42:10)