Parshas Vayeshev 5786 - Emotional Intelligence

The Torah begins the parsha by telling us that Yosef was a uniquely gifted person. The Torah says that:

“These are the generations of Yaakov. Yosef at the age of seventeen was tending the sheep with his brothers by the flock, but he was a youth with the sons of Bilhah and the sons of Zilpah, his father’s wives; and Yosef would bring evil reports about them to their father. Yisrael loved Yosef more than all his children, because he was ben zikunav, and he made him a fine woolen coat.” (Beraishis 39:3).

What does it mean that Yosef was ben zikunav? Rashi, following Onkelos, explains that “zikunav” here means wise — Yosef was Yaakov’s wise son, and Yaakov transmitted to him the Torah knowledge he learned in the yeshivah of Shem and Ever.

Seforno also highlights Yosef’s intelligence, noting that since the Torah states Yosef was “tending the sheep with his brothers,” the implication is that the younger Yosef actually instructed his older brothers in techniques of shepherding. Later in the parsha we see Yosef’s remarkable business acumen: he manages Potifar’s household (39:4), the prison’s operations (39:22), and eventually the entire Egyptian economy (41:55).

Yet, Yosef’s actions are puzzling. If Yosef was so wise and capable, why did he behave in ways that provoked his brothers’ jealousy and hatred? He reported negatively about them to Yaakov (37:2). He described dreams in which his brothers bowed to him (37:5), and then repeated an even more provocative dream (37:9). These behaviors ultimately contributed to the brothers selling him into slavery.

Why would someone so intelligent act so unwisely?

Seforno explains that although Yosef possessed great intelligence, he lacked maturity. He failed to recognize — or failed to take seriously — the growing resentment his brothers felt toward him. His immaturity overshadowed his wisdom, leading him to act in ways that inflamed their jealousy. Yosef was brilliant, but he was still immature and did not yet notice or understand his brothers and their emotions.

Only later in the narrative, after Yosef endured hardship and grew into adulthood, did his intelligence express itself with maturity. In prison, Yosef noticed that the Chief Butler and Chief Baker looked troubled. Instead of ignoring them, he sensitively asked about their distress (40:6–7). That moment of emotional awareness opened the door to interpreting their dreams — which in turn led to Yosef’s freedom and eventual rise to viceroy of Egypt..

Intelligence and wisdom are invaluable gifts, but without emotional maturity and awareness of others, they can lead a person astray. Yosef’s early brilliance caused friction; his later, more mature wisdom changed the course of his life and the future of the Jewish people.

We, too, must work not only on our knowledge and abilities but also on understanding how our words and actions affect those around us. When we cultivate both intelligence and maturity, our strengths can build relationships, elevate others, and contribute to a better world.

May we use our gifts to be sensitive to others and act with wisdom, following Yosef’s example as he grew into greatness.