Parshas Zachor - The 3 Hardest Words

In the Haftorah this week for Parshas Zachor, King Shaul is commanded to totally destroy Amalek as well as all of their sheep and cattle. However, Shaul did not fully comply with Hashem’s command, sparing the Amalek king Agag and the best sheep and cattle. When confronted by the prophet Shmuel, Shaul defended himself by claiming that the animals were saved “in order to sacrifice to Hashem your God” (Shmuel I 15:15). What appeared to be disobedience was reframed as virtuous. Shaul persisted in claiming “I have fulfilled the word of Hashem” (15:13) despite Shmuel confronting him multiple times with the incontrovertible evidence that the Amalek livestock were still alive.

Shaul’s actions are puzzling. He clearly did not fulfill Hashem’s command to destroy all of Amalek and he did not destroy their livestock. Further, Shmuel confronted him two times with the definitive evidence that the Amalek livestock were still alive. How could Shaul continue to claim that he acted righteously?

The answer seems to be that it is human nature to believe that we are right. When we make mistakes, we rarely admit them immediately. Instead, we search for justifications that allow us to preserve our self-image of righteousness. As Shlomo Hamelech wrote: “Man's every way is straight in his own eyes.” (Mishlei 21:2).

Chazal teach that this pattern is spiritually dangerous. The Gemara (Yoma 86b) explains that when a person repeats a sin, it eventually begins to feel permissible. Rav Yisrael Salanter zt”l sharpened this idea: by the third time, the sin can feel not merely permitted, but like a mitzvah. Once we justify our behavior, our moral clarity becomes blurred. What began as compromise becomes conviction.

Rav Yaakov Kamanetsky zt”l teaches that the only antidote to this tendency is rigorous honesty with oneself. A person must be willing to examine his true motivations and confront uncomfortable truths. Self-awareness requires courage — the courage to question not only what we did, but why we did it.

Relatedly, the Rambam defines teshuvah as follows:“What constitutes teshuvah? That a sinner abandons his sin, removes it from his thoughts, and resolves in his heart never to commit it again.” (Hilchos Teshuvah 2:2)

Teshuvah begins with honesty and self-reflection. One cannot abandon a sin that one continues to justify.

Everyone makes mistakes. The difference lies in what happens next. As the Rosh Yeshiva, Rabbi Rosenblatt zt”l used to say, the three hardest words to say in the English language are: “I was wrong.” Accordingly, Shaul persisted in defending his actions. We, however, are given the opportunity to choose differently. When we cultivate self-awareness, acknowledge our faults, and sincerely resolve to change, we transform failure into growth.

The Rambam writes that when a person does teshuvah out of sincerity, he becomes beloved and precious before his Creator (Hilchos Teshuvah 7:4). The very struggle against our own rationalizations is itself a victory over the yetzer hora.