Shabbas Vayishlach - Never Give Up on a Jew

 The Torah (Beraishis 32:8) tells us that Yaakov was greatly frightened by his pending encounter with Esav. In preparing for his reunion, the Torah tells us that he moved his entire family across the Yabok River:

“He took his two wives, his two maidservants, and his eleven sons.” (Beraishis 32:23)

Rashi notices that he Torah lists Yaakov’s eleven sons but makes no mention of his daughter, Dinah. Rashi, citing the Midrash, explains:

“He placed her in a chest and locked her in so that Esau should not set his eyes upon her [desire to marry her].  On this account Yaakov was punished — because he had kept her away from his brother, for she might have led him back to the right path; she therefore fell into the hands of Shechem.” (Beraishis Rabbah 76:9).

This teaching is difficult to understand. Chazal describe Esav as having committed serious sins—sexual immorality and even murder—on the day Avraham died (Bava Basra 16b). He married Canaanite wives who brought bitterness to his parents (Bereishis 26:34–35). He vowed to kill Yaakov, forcing Yaakov to flee for his life (27:41–43). And now he was approaching with four hundred men (32:7), suggesting hostile intent.

Given all this, Yaakov’s decision to hide Dinah seems perfectly reasonable. If anything, it seems like a responsible and protective act. Why, then, would Yaakov be criticized?

The Sifsei Chachamim offers an insightful explanation. Yaakov assumed that Esav had remained unchanged during the twenty years of his absence. But that assumption was mistaken. When the brothers finally met, Esav’s reaction did not reflect murderous hatred. Instead, the Torah says he ran to Yaakov, embraced him, fell on his neck, kissed him, and cried (33:4). The Sifsei Chachaim sees these gestures as sincere and heartfelt.

This suggests that Esav had changed—or at least had the capacity to change.

Indeed, the Torah records an earlier hint of this shift: after recognizing that his first marriages had pained his parents, Esav took an additional wife from Yishmael’s family rather than from the Canaanites (28:9). This small step showed self-awareness and a desire, however limited, to improve.

Rav Yaakov Kamenetsky, ZT”L adds another dimension. Esav grew up in the home of Yitzchak and Rivka—the spiritual giants of the generation. Their influence, even if dormant, planted seeds of greatness within him. Dinah, raised by Yaakov and Leah, possessed enormous spiritual strength. Had Esav married her, she might have awakened those dormant qualities within him. She could have been the catalyst for his transformation. Perhaps there was no one better in that generation for Dinah to marry than Esav.

Chazal teach that even someone whose life has taken a wrong turn can still change, sometimes through the influence of a single person or a single moment.

Therefore, we must never give up on a fellow Jew. Even when someone appears distant—we do not know what seeds lie within them or what sparks can still be ignited. A kind word, an invitation for Shabbos, a thoughtful message, or simply treating someone with dignity can have a transformative effect.

If even Esav could have been inspired to change, then we, too, can inspire the people in our lives.

May our efforts to uplift one another help our fellow Jews draw closer to Torah, and may that unity bring us closer to Hashem and hasten the redemption and healing of the world.